


Away

by zyaku



Series: Arise [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Angst, Chronic Illness, Drama, Fluff, Haikyuu - Freeform, KuroAka - Freeform, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, but if you want to read it anyway i wont stop you, you dont need to read the other story to get this one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7139465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zyaku/pseuds/zyaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started a cloudy day in the middle of September.</p><p>Akaashi Keiji read the medical report and expected to receive a significantly dependent patient due to the nature of his illness; but what he was surprised with, was a completely conscious young boy with a small impairment on his walking, or at least that was the first impression he gave.<br/>But first impressions weren’t always right. He has been working as a nurse for three years now and this has been enough time for him to acknowledge that things weren’t at all how they seemed to be.<br/>Enough time to realize that destiny was unchangeable no matter who you are.</p><p>For better or worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for giving this story a shot.

“I don’t want to be your first option”

 

The room goes quiet but Akaashi doesn’t flake, he keeps staring directly at Kuroo’s eyes hoping that his words felt as heavy for him as they feel for himself. 

He doesn’t plan to get an answer but he receives one right away.

 

“You don’t-”

 

“I mean it” he quickly corrects him, he motions to massage his temples trying to look for the right words to say even though nothing seems polite enough. To be fair, he is tired of being polite “I understand. He needs you, he really does. And you need him as well, you’ve been together for so long it doesn’t really matter what I have to do with this.”

 

His words sound more severe as they blurt out of his mouth, he feels uneasy and ready to leave as soon as possible, the whole place looks way too unpleasant right now and it makes him feel unwelcome.

 

“Are you giving up on me?” Kuroo suddenly asks and a sarcastic grin draws on his face. He is getting more and more annoyed as time passes. “Is that how little this means to you?” He is harsh with his words, feeling it is the only way for him to get through the awfully solid façade Akaashi always manages to keep on. 

 

He knew. He begs he knew better.

 

Akaashi has always been a patient person but he is never too far from bursting out his true feelings when he felt overwhelmed.

 

And yet he begs, he begs these weren’t his true feelings. 

 

“Yes, that’s exactly it. I’m giving up on you. I quit,” is the only answer he receives.

 

Akashi steps to the door with a firm conviction: He is not falling for it. 

Not now, not ever again.

 

“Are you sure you’re not running away then?” Kuroo clicks his tongue, turning to face the other man, “because you can’t even look at me straight in the eyes to break up”

 

He is not falling for it.

 

“Be a man and break up with me to my face, goddamit!” he yells while clenching his fists, and Akaashi flinches at the abrupt sound “... So I can give up on you too!”

 

Akaashi turns to look at the dark-haired man, who is expecting anything but what he sees. An absolutely furious man staring back at him with cold intimidating eyes, Kuroo wants to believe there’s at least some regret in his actions, but he finds none. 

He is left with bitterness and cold-hearted hate from the younger man. “I’m breaking up with you. So, please...  _ Please _ , give up on me too.”

 

Akaashi steps out of the apartment with a loud bang of the door. At the second he stands outside, he knows it’s going to be the last time he does. 

 

The last time of many that he had left the place in a hurry swearing not to come back, and also the last of many mornings in which he would have given everything to stay for a few more minutes, being helplessly dragged outside by his work obligations.

And as he steps down the stairs, he swears he won’t cry. 

He swears in vain.

He feels gross, miserable and incapable of giving in, but if he’s sure about something it is that this is the right thing to do. Akaashi knows this more than anyone and yet he can’t bring himself to feel good about it. 

 

It hurts, but he isn’t regretting his decision, he is a man of his word and he intends to keep it that way for as long as he can. 

 

Akaashi looks up at the clock hanging from the living room wall and feels lost. Just how much time has passed since he left Kuroo’s apartment? The whole trip to his own home feels somehow unreal and foreign to him. 

 

He is tired, he knows that much, but he isn’t really aware why, as well as he doesn’t even begin to understand how a twenty minute long train ride became almost three hours.

 

He reach the lights again and turns them off, walking a few steps until he let himself fall on the couch, feeling way too heavy to move to his bedroom. The only light in the room now is coming from his phone screen as he scrolls down the messages. There was about two hundred messages that addressed Kuroo’s name, he selects them one by one and presses delete, leaving no remaining proof of his casual and mostly silly expressions of affection. He thinks about deleting his contact info as well, but he is aware he may need it in the future.

 

_ Deleting _ a person from one's life is something highly inconvenient and he knows it. He knows it, yet it hurts to keep them around.

 

The phone screen turns off and he feels like the darkness starts messing with his senses.

He lets his right arm fall dead over the couch, almost touching the floor. The warmth of his face slowly burning him. He wants to scream, to curse himself and everything else in this world that made him this miserable. But words won’t come out of his lips. 

 

No words, just loud piteous sobbing.

 

The clocks hits 3:10am when he finally falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

A cloudy day in the middle of September a new patient arrived at the Haruyama Caring Center, it was a twenty-three years old boy who had been in various rehabilitation and nursing facilities since the age of eighteen, the reason being a degenerative neurological disease causing malfunctions on various lobes of his brain, specially the left side of it. 

In a matter of months, it unleashed a rapidly progressive dementia. 

 

It was an odd illness on its own, so being diagnosed with it at such a young age made it very difficult for his doctors to give a positive prospect of life for him. His parents were aware of the frail health of his son for a long time, but they never expected the ailment to progress that quickly.

 

By the time he graduated, he could barely recognize his classmates.

 

Akaashi read the medical report and expected to receive a significantly dependent person due to the nature of his illness. But what he was surprised with, was a completely conscious young boy with a small impairment on his walking, or at least that was the first impression his assigned patient gave.

 

He knew first impressions weren’t always right. He has been working as a nurse for three years now and this has been enough time for him to acknowledge things weren’t at all how they seemed to be at first. 

 

It was a difficult job and he couldn’t say that they weren’t times when he would be at the edge of exhaustion and desertion, but the longer he spent on it the more convinced he was that this was his vocation.

 

The new patient was called Kozume Kenma. He had average height and a slender build, golden eyes and long hair that covered his ears and the rim of his chin. He was wearing a red sweater and black jeans the day he arrived. It surprised Akaashi to see the blonde dye on his hair, one that he would commonly see it on carefree teenagers, but the visible black roots somehow explained for themselves that it had been a long time since then. 

 

Akaashi wondered what was this boy like before being diagnosed with dementia. It was pitiful just to think about it even if he never was one to empathize with outgoing teens to begin with, not even at that age, but he thought it probably felt like your younghood being snatched from you forever, so he would understand if that was the case. 

 

Along with Kenma came his parents and a significantly taller man that stated to be a friend of the family, they were very concerned about the rules and cautions of being interned in the center. And it was a relief, in the past he’d have to deal with irreverent relatives that couldn't care less for how things worked there and managed to make not only his work harder but also the patient’s recovery tougher.

 

“He’s a quiet boy so he won’t be a problem for you Akaashi-san, but he get anxious when he can’t communicate well, so please be patient with him” his mother said to him in private when the rest of the people were saying goodbye to Kenma. 

 

Akaashi smiled at her and gently shook his head. “No need to worry, I’m here to take care of your son, Kozume-san. There’s no way he could be a problem for me” he carefully explained while placing both hands behind his back “Is there anything else I should know about him or his behaviour?”

 

“He forgets sometimes to bring his cane along with him when he stands up, I’m sure you know about his illness more than we do but forgetting stuff is a common for him”

 

He nodded “I’m aware. I will be paying attention to him when he does”

 

She smiled “I’m glad he get to have a gentle person like you to look after him, please take care of my son”

“Oh… And one more thing” she said in a quieter voice, her smile slowly vanishing from her lips “Tetsu-chan… Kuroo, he’s is a good friend of us, he has done so much for Kenma all this time, I know he’s not family, but if you would please let him pass the visit hours as a relative we will be really grateful. For Kenma’s sake”

 

Turning around from the woman he catched a glimpse of the man she was referring to, he was smiling at the shorter boy while teasing him, Kenma didn’t seem to mind and calmly replied to him when it was necessary, sometimes he would take his sight out of the game console he had in his hands and narrow his eyes, like he didn’t fully understand what Kuroo meant. “I will take care of it on my working hours, but I am afraid I won’t be able to do anything while off-duty”

 

“That’s already more than enough, Akaashi-san. Thank you so much”

 

And with those words he was left with the quiet boy sitting in one of the chairs next to the bed while playing a game.

 

“Kozume-san. If there’s anything you need please be sure of letting me know, okay?” he made sure to speak clearly and loud enough for him to hear him over the sounds of the console “You can call me by pressing the button in the wall if I’m not around”

 

He knew he wasn’t getting a response, the boy seemed to be way too absorbed in his game to pay attention to him. And, as he expected, when he finished speaking he just noded and continued playing.

Akaashi calmly took a chair and placed it in front of the other man, keeping a conscious distance from him in order to not make him feel uncomfortable. 

 

He sat in front of him and waited. In a few seconds they boy lost the game and Akaashi finally got his attention. “Did you understand everything I said?”

 

The boy nodded.

 

“Kozume-san. I am certainly sure you can speak up and reply to me, so please do”

 

Kenma open his eyes slightly wider and nodded again “... Yes”

 

Akaashi let out a small smile. He noticed even when he hadn’t start the game again, he kept moving his fingers as if he was playing. “That’s better. Also, Kozume-san is okay for me to call you Kenma? We’re just a year apart from each other so I think the formalities might be unnecessary” he explained slowly, never taking out his glance from the boy in front of him “is that okay with you?”

 

Pressing the right button of the console, Kenma looked at the screen again and started playing “It’s okay” he replied, in a louder and more confident tone. 

 

“That’s great. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together, so let’s get along from now on, Kenma” Akaashi felt satisfied with his actions, when he was about to stand up again to resume his activities he heard the voice of the younger boy. 

 

“... Name?” he asked, without turning his sight away from the game.

 

Akaashi stared at him for a second in utter surprise, he was sure he had mentioned his last name before so the only thing left was his first name.

 

“Keiji”

 

* * *

 

 

Akaashi was in charge of two patients besides Kenma, but without a doubt he was the one who required more of his attention during the day. Not because he was in need of medical assistance, but rather because communication was key for his well-being. 

 

Little by little he started discovering the right way to approach Kenma, what he should and should not do in order make him feel as comfortable as possible, but also encouraging him into conversation and interaction to stimulate said ability to its fullest.

He spent all the time he could with him, but he still needed to take care of the rest of his patients and their treatments. And that’s when he found out why Kenma’s mother had insisted to let his friend visit him in the family visiting hour schedule.

 

If communication was key to Kenma’s health, Kuroo was making sure to help as much as he could. He would go to the Center every evening and refuse to leave until it was the end of the visiting hours. He went every week, every single day without fault, missing only a few days every two weeks because of shift changes in his work.

It became common for Akaashi to see the dark-haired man everyday at 4pm entering Kenma’s room with his seemingly eternal good mood and leaving at night around 8pm with the exact same smile on his face.

 

He couldn’t say he wasn’t thankful for his presence, since he made company to the other boy when he was on duty with other patients, and in general Kenma had a good response to him. But Akaashi was certain that it wasn’t always like that.

 

Dealing with Kenma was something completely new to him after all. And he learnt quickly that along with his condition, there were better days than others. 

 

On good days he would come around 12pm into the boy’s room and have a little talk while giving him the medication prescribed in the records. Their talk would usually go along Akaashi’s questions and Kenma’s simple answers that for many might sound plain and uninterested, but that Akaashi knew they weren’t since he didn’t turn out his attention to any of the many devices he had to distract himself. Instead he just listened to him while playing with his fingers.

Later Kenma would get out of his bedroom and hurry into going outside with Akaashi. Akaashi always reminding him to bring his cane along, a cane that had way too many cat stickers all over it in Akaashi’s opinion. 

 

They would go to the cafeteria and Akaashi would tell him more about his job and how the other nurses were amazed by his nice behaviour. If he was lucky enough, he would even hear something similar to a laugh coming from Kenma.

 

Kenma would talk to him about his life only if Akaashi asked questions that needed short responses, since a more elaborated answer would usually end up in the middle of the story with a confused Kenma trying to put order to his thoughts or just forgetting what he was talking about in the first place. If it made him feel anxious Akaashi would stop and instead, he would start to ask questions that he would feel confident answering in short sentences; he even found out it was easier for Kenma to remember stuff if he helped with the context and course of the story.

 

Later Akaashi would leave Kenma for lunch and attend his oldest patient, Mrs.Fukunaga. She had a major movement impairment so he had to help her eat. When he finished attending her he made sure that she would take all her medicine before she fell asleep again. 

She was about eighty years old but Akaashi was always amazed by her joyful personality.

 

Next, he would take Kenma’s medicine to the library, finding him always sitting next to the picture window playing a game on his phone or looking outside at the kids playing in the backyard.

After taking his medicine they would talk some more or Kenma would ask him for the same book to read over and over again.

Sometimes they would even stand up and go for a walk in the garden.

 

“He should be here soon” Akaashi would say when it was about 4pm. 

Kenma, without missing a second, would stand up, take his cane and leave the library. It always surprised him how determined he was with things that involved Kuroo, even if he didn’t let him know.

 

It was one time in the library when Akaashi asked about his relationship with the other man that Kenma had replied more firmly than ever “We’ve been together for a very long time”, he didn’t know how to take his answer in the first place but since he was so direct about it he assumed the two boys had a romantic sort of relationship. “Kuroo is a good person, he won’t leave me even if I ask him to. He’s a good person but he’s an idiot”

 

In a few minutes Kuroo would step at the door and greet everyone as they became more familiar with him over time. Akaashi would make sure Kenma was okay with his presence and then leave to take care of the rest of his duties. He would come back around 7pm and join the conversation they were having and encouraging Kenma to talk as much as he did when they were alone, but he never got the same response. Akaashi then assumed Kenma was more comfortable when there were less people around.

Later he would take note of his vital signs, gave him the final medications of the day and politely ask Kuroo to leave when the visiting hours had ended.

 

Days like these would go by smoothly, and made him feel satisfied with Kenma’s recovery.

 

But unfortunately, those were only the good days.

 

On bad days everything would become silence, tears and struggle.

 

It would start by Kenma refusing to take his medicine or to make any sort of contact with people and Akaashi would have to make use of all the strategies he could come up with to make him collaborate.

In confusion, Kenma would reject it with all his might. It was a painful sight, but Akaashi had to be stronger and make it work anyways, for his own sake. 

 

Kenma spent hours in bed, staring at the wall completely static, or sometimes lightly rocking backwards and forwards. 

 

Akaashi would try and ask him very simple questions, getting absolutely no answer. 

And then he would take him by his arms and stare at him straight in the eyes, repeating the same questions. 

 

“Kenma, can you hear me? I’m Keiji.  _ Do you know who I am _ ?”

 

After a short while Kenma would come back to his senses and reply with a nod or a short “yes” along with unceasing tears pouring down his eyes, Akaashi would hug him tight and repeat that everything was going to be okay until the boy calmed down.

Other times it was absolutely useless and no matter how hard he tried, there was no answer coming from him. Those days he made sure everything was okay with his physical health before resuming the rest of his obligations and leave the room.

He would come back once in awhile and talk shortly to him, trying not to make him feel uncomfortable. 

 

Getting him to eat was another struggle that usually ended with a very restless Kenma refusing the food. Most of the time he would spend nearly two hours into getting him to do it, but if it made him too anxious, Akaashi would leave and let him rest, hearing loud sobbing every once in awhile when he shut the door.

 

Kuroo’s visit would either be a relief or a bigger problem. When he crossed the door Akaashi would say “It’s a bad day” and Kuroo would instantly know what was going on.

 

He entered the room and tried to talk to him, getting different responses every time. 

 

From good to bad. He would take it all and collaborate.

 

These specially bad days Kuroo would stay even if he wasn’t allowed to see Kenma, asking Akaashi more about the situation and if there was any way to help.

The younger man would calmly explain how this kind of behaviour was normal in consideration of the ailment and that the best thing for Kenma was not to be disturbed. 

 

It was painful for Kuroo and he could see it, the days where Kenma’s response was considerably bad he would look like if he was about to cry, and Akaashi would patiently comfort him with encouraging words until he regained his composure.

 

On these days, he admired Kuroo’s strength towards this situation. How he was able to smile that brightly again like everything was going to work out at the end.

 

“You’re so close to him now, it’s amazing. This guy wouldn’t talk to anyone in school if it wasn’t necessary and you get him to talk to you in just a few weeks.” Kuroo said one day from the other side of the empty lobby, while Akaashi was organizing some medical records.

 

“My job is to safeguard the health of my patients” Akaashi said while writing something in a planner “So I do everything I can to help with their recovery… Even if I cannot be of much help in this situation” he finished the sentence in a lower tone, almost like he was annoyed at himself for it.

 

Kuroo stayed silent for a while and then spoke up “you’re growing fond of him, aren’t you?”

 

Akaashi stopped for a few seconds but quickly resumed his actions “What makes you say that, Kuroo-san?”

 

“...You look hurt too.”

 

And his words made Akaashi feel like he had come to a sudden revelation.

 

In days like this he got to know more things about Kuroo as well. He found out he was a pharmacologist, that he worked in a lab a few streets away from there.

He found out he had known Kenma for about fifteen years since they used to be neighbours, also that they grew up together and went to the same school.

He heard that Kenma had always been a shy introverted boy, that he never got along much with the rest of his classmates. He heard about his health worsening during his teenage years but being critically damaged when he turned eighteen.  

 

He found out Kenma had been Kuroo’s first love, although he only confessed it to him in his sophomore year of high school, and that Kenma had accepted his feelings towards him.

Kuroo had also find out Akaashi was aware of their relationship.

 

“We’ve been together since we’re kids, we were like brothers, but Kenma… Kenma didn’t seem to mind at all and went along with it. Sometimes I think he’s just a good person and I took advantage of it” he said with an amused smile. Akaashi took all the records and placed them inside a box with a name tag on the side. 

 

“It’s good to know that you both think the same way about each other”

 

“Eh?... Did he say anything about me?” he asked, rather intrigued and with a happier expression.

 

“I’m just saying this, but I do respect my patient’s privacy so you’re not getting anything else out of me” Akaashi firmly said before the light assigned to the bedroom at the end of the hallway turned on. “I’ll be right away, Fukunaga-san” he said through the speaker line before hurrying into the hallway.

 

“Akaashi” Kuroo called in a loud voice, making him stop

 

“What is it, Kuroo-san?”

 

“Thank you”

 

Akaashi nodded at him and kept walking.

In days like this, he would slowly realize about the warm feeling in his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

The days had gone flying and Kenma’s health became stable little by little. 

 

His parents had come visit him every once in awhile during the week and, usually, they would spend the whole weekend with him.

 

“You don’t have to come here that often”

 

Kenma said one afternoon while sitting on the desk at the corner of the room. His parents looked at each other perplexed and his mother laughed softly a few moments later  “We’re here to take care of our precious son, are you bored of us that much?” She gestured towards Kenma and then looked at Keiji “The young ones sure are bold, right Akaashi-san?”

 

Keiji had been putting clean sheets and blankets on the closet while listening to the conversation. Surprised by Kenma’s words, he decided to give a quick glance at the boy before replying to his mother.

 

He was staring at the book, almost as if he could see his own hands and the table behind it, he could tell Kenma was being perturbed by his own words as well, tapping with his fingers on each side of the book.

 

Keiji just nodded lightly with his head and closed the closet door, walking out of the room right after..

 

“You’re tired. Keji is taking care of me, that’s his job”

 

He remembered hearing something about his parents’ job from Kuroo a few days ago. He told him they have been working double time for the past three years to cover for Kenma’s health expenses, still they would find a way to spend as much time with Kenma as they could.

 

Before closing the door on his way out, Keiji saw Kenma’s mother crying. He decided to leave and let them resolve the situation.

 

Unsure of what to do, he stood on the hallway for a while, asking himself why would Kenma say such thing out of nowhere. He looked at the clock, it was 3:46am, his break was about to start.

 

“Is it a bad day?”

 

A low voice interrupted his thoughts, he looked down again to find a concerned stare going straight back at him. Kuroo had arrived early. He quickly shook his head. “It isn’t, but I think you might want to wait before going inside.”

 

“Why? Is he upset or something?... Is he sick?”

 

“Oh no, he is in perfect condition. He’s talking to his parents, so it’s better to give them some privacy”

 

The man kept quiet for a while, Keiji could tell he was rather surprised “He’s willingly talking to them?… How long has it been...” Kuroo rested his hand over his mouth and looked at the door, clearly losing himself on his thoughts. “He’s really getting better...”

 

Those word caught him unguarded, Kenma sure had improved a lot since he arrived but his ailment was still there and it was in no way curable, so the best they could do was proceeding with the treatment in order to slow it down.

 

Kenma wasn’t getting better but not worsening “Kuroo-san, would you mind joining me for a cup of coffee?”

 

Kuroo blinked a few times, resuming the conversation “Is that okay? Don’t worry about me, I can wait outside...”

 

“I insist.” he said, with a rather confident look, he knew if he left the other man alone there he would either enter the room anyways or worrying more than he should while waiting outside. “There’s a coffee shop at the end of the street if I remember correctly, I’m on my break right now so it’s fine by me. Of course, if you don’t mind it”

 

“Let’s go”

 

Keiji grabbed a dark gray sweater hanging from the back of the chair behind the counter and left the place along with Kuroo without thinking too much into it. When he stepped out the door he was surprised by a light gray sky and a rather warm breeze, it was already fall, in the middle of October days like these were quite pleasant. 

 

Keiji couldn’t remember the last time he had stepped out of the Haruyama Caring Center in the middle of the day, it felt odd but somehow exciting, like trying something for the first time.

 

They entered the small coffee shop, along with the ring of the doorbell a young lady greeted them with a big smile and Keiji asked the other man to choose a seat. They sat on a table almost at the end of the hallway, next to the shop window; there were small menu sheets over the table featuring different season-themed drinks and listing the normal drinks and snacks at the end of it. 

 

Keiji ordered an espresso and Kuroo a cafe latte from the special section.

 

“This place’s really nice… Do you come here often, Akaashi-san?” Kuroo asked after placing both arms over the table.

 

“Not really. I always see it from the outside on my way to work but when my shift’s over it’s already closed” Keiji spoke calmly, as he would when talking to a superior. 

 

Polite, that’s how his words would always be “It’s a shame, it looks like a good place to visit once in awhile” 

 

Kuroo frowned and rested his head on his hand “I see… Now that I think about it you’re always working when I get here, you usually don’t have breaks? That sounds tough”

 

“Oh, no. I have a break at this hour everyday”

 

“And you still work on these hours? How earnest of you” Kuroo stated with a small grin.

 

“I don’t think that’s the case though…” Keiji crossed his arms and looked through the window shop as if he was trying to analyze the situation “Now I mostly spend time with Kenma but before that I would usually spend that time at work anyways so it’s not like much changed. I just acquired some good company” He finished saying with a small smile.

 

The waitress came with both drinks and courtesy biscuits, she placed them on each side of the table. Both men thanked her before she left.

 

“I didn’t know you were fond of these sort of things, Kuroo-san” Keiji said, trying to hide the urge to laugh at what he had in front of him “I guess I now know who’s responsible for the odd amount of cat stickers on Kenma’s cane”

 

Kuroo, on the other side of the table, looked fairly pleased with the small cats drawn on the top of his coffee. He even managed to take a few pictures of it before the drawing faded away with the first sip. “Hey, that’s not entirely my fault!”

 

“ ‘Entirely’ is my attention word here”

 

“I’m serious” he said with a big grin this time “You know, if there’s something Kenma likes besides video games-… Sorry, even more than video games, it’s cats. He can’t help but pet them every time he sees one” he stopped talking for a few moments to find something on his phone and then enthusiastically show it to Keiji. “See? That’s my cat!” he said with a rather amused voice “And yet, Kenma looks like it’s owner, doesn’t it?”

 

The picture surprised Keiji. It portrayed a younger Kenma and Kuroo sitting in the front door of a house, both of them wearing school uniforms; Kuroo was doing a peace sign with his hand while smiling and Kenma was looking at the black cat snuggling on his arms with a faint smile. 

 

It felt overwhelmly unnatural. Seeing both of them in a not remote past, living normal lives. Keiji felt foreign to this reality, but something about it was oddly familiar.

 

“It does”

 

Kuroo took back his phone to lock it and put it back on his pocket, “That was back in high school, we found a stray cat in the back of the shrine near my house and Kenma brought it to my place, can you believe it? Getting a cat was his idea and yet I had to take care of that damn thing” he shook his head and laughed at that memory “He told me ‘You should take care of Nekoma, you’re good with that’ and of course I did, why wouldn’t I, right?”

 

“Nekoma? Did he...”

 

“Yes, he combined his own name with the word ‘cat’ ”

 

Keiji couldn’t help but laugh, “that sounds like him indeed” he took a small sip of his coffee, “so he was the one who put the stickers on the cane too?”

 

“Ok, that was me.” he answered while raising his hands to both sides of his head, as if he was confessing a crime “All me, put me to jail” he joked while placing his arms back on the table.

“You know… When things started to get rough, Kenma was really scared… And of course he wouldn’t say anything or let anyone know about it, but he was. When he began to have trouble walking on his own and was told to use a cane, he refused to do it, and eventually that got him more than one injury. I couldn’t be with him the whole time and his parents couldn’t either so I started putting cat stickers on the cane every time he used it… As a reward, maybe? I’m not sure why, I just…”

 

“Wanted to make him happy.”

 

Kuroo stared at the other man in surprise but quickly sighed and nodded “I guess that’s it”

 

Keiji thought he never met someone as devoted as Kuroo in his whole life, someone as willing to do anything for the person he loves. And the look he gave the man in front of him had nothing but sincere sympathy.

 

There was a long silence in which both had taken another sip from their drinks.

 

“It sure has passed some time though... Tomorrow’s already October 16th, I haven’t gotten anything for him yet… ”

 

Keiji raised an eyebrow “For Kenma?”

 

“Tomorrow’s his birthday”  he clarified “I don’t think he wants anything though, all my past gifts had been rejected”

 

“I see… So he doesn’t like to celebrate it”

 

“I don’t think he minds it, he’s mostly reluctant about gifts. And I doubt I could get him a cat to pet for a day or something like that” Kuroo said laughing.

 

Keiji kept silent for a moment “... What if you could?”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m not talking about getting him a cat though, Haruyama has strict rules about pets”

 

“I am aware of that… But, what do you mean then?”

 

“Kuroo-san, you think you could bring your cat with you tomorrow? I think we could make it if you arrive around five, after the doctor takes the samples for the exams…. Assuming you’re visiting him tomorrow” Keiji stated quickly, striking him with an honest look.

 

“Of course I am, but wouldn’t you get in trouble for this?” this time his voice became lower, sincerely worried about this fact.

 

“Not if we don’t get caught”

 

Kuroo smiled at the other man “Why are you doing this?”

 

He blinked a few times before replying “Because I care about my patients, so I must look after their wellbeing and happiness”

 

“Don’t give me that old-fashioned speech, you’re really growing fond of this guy, aren’t you?”

 

Keiji shook his head slowly and looked away, feeling just a little embarrassed “Well… That and because I do believe this could help Kenma. He responds significantly well to passive communication and having a pet around you is shown to be effective as treatment for cases like these… Of course, that being said, I think it could only work on a stable condition, so you couldn’t bring it just anyday…”

 

Keiji looked down, trying to come up with an idea and Kuroo just stared at him speechless, thinking of just how lucky they’ve got for getting a person like Keiji to take care of Kenma; being overly aware of how strict and cold nurses could be, and having been told many times that he shouldn’t be visiting a patient he’s not related to if not strictly necessary or even have been rejected from entrance for not being one. 

Having encountered all these kind of scenarios, he just couldn’t believe how approachable Akaashi was towards Kenma’s health.

 

He could easily say he was grateful for Akaashi being Kenma’s nurse. “Give me your number” he blatantly said.

 

“My number?”

 

“ Yeah, that way I can call you to ask if it’s okay to bring that little rat here”

 

“I see” Keiji reached the phone on his pocket and pressed the screen a few times, searching for the number.

 

“How should I save your number,  ‘Nurse Akaashi-san’ maybe?”

 

He smiled and typed the man’s number on his phone “Just Akaashi is fine” he explained “I’m not used to be called by my full name”

 

“Kenma calls you Keiji though”

 

“Kenma is an exception, since we’re almost the same age”

 

“Did you just call me old?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest “I’m only a year older than you then”

 

“And that makes you worthy of honorifics, Kuroo-san”

 

“You’re just trying to mess with me now, aren’t you? If not my first name then at least drop the honorifics… Deal?”

 

“... Deal”

 

The next time Keiji checked the time an hour had already passed in which they had finished their drink, paid and left the cafe. On the way out Kuroo had seen the custom cake designs they had and decided to order one for Kenma’s birthday.

  
  


The next day was nothing but quietness and an oddly pleasant weather. Keiji had been tempted to congratulate Kenma for his 24th birthday in the morning but decided to wait until his parents arrived and celebrated th _ e  _ occasion on their own. They arrived around 11am and took him out. Kenma didn’t seemed to mind. 

 

“You look quite happy today, darling. Did something good happened?” 

 

Keiji looked at the woman from the other side of the room while gathering all the medicine he needed to dispense to her “Something good? My life is quite uneventful, Fukunaga-san. I consider that to be something extremely good already” having said that, he put on the sanitary mask and plastic gloves. He reached for a package of syringes and took one to fill it with the medicine.

 

“I can’t be tricked, you have a cheerful feeling all around you”

 

“Do I?... If you say so then I must confess something to you” he spoke calmly while opening the line and inserting the syringe “I’ve done a risky thing for some friends recently so rather than happy it’s quite the opposite”

 

“You’re young, darling. Now’s the time to take risks for something or someone you believe in.”

 

“I’ll take your advice if the time ever comes, Fukunaga-san. Thank you”

  
  


Keiji felt just a little lonely during lunch, since he would usually join Kenma at said time. 

 

It was weird, he hadn’t been by himself at work even a single day since he arrived. It wasn’t until 4pm that Kenma and his parents had to come back due to Kenma’s regular check-up so he still had a little time off until then. He figured he would go help the other nurses or go to the library in the mean time.

 

“Can I sit here?”

 

“...”

 

“Kei-chan!”

 

Jumping out of his thoughts, Keiji looked up and sat straight. “Ah, yes. Sorry”

 

“It sure’s been a while! Now that you spend all your time with the kid” the man proceeded to sit in front of Keiji, while placing a folder right in the middle of the table.

 

“ ‘The kid’ is turning my age today,  you know?”

 

“You have to be kidding me” he said with a rather exaggerated expression. 

 

Oikawa Tooru had always been that way, over dramatic and eccentric. People wouldn’t believe he was not only a certified doctor but also one of the best students of his generation.

 

“He is, so don’t make such an expression” 

 

“Sorry, sorry. Are you free right now?”

 

Keiji met Oikawa about seven years ago, during his second year of college. Oikawa was an assistant in his Anatomy class at that time, and a very lousy one so Keiji would usually avoid him at first, but eventually he figured out —despite his personality—, he was very serious about his work. 

 

Somehow, one way to another lead them to end up working together in Haruyama Caring Center.

 

“I am, do you need anything?”

 

“I’ve got a call from the hospital, my shift got changed to an hour earlier so I have to go right now. Would you mind keeping an eye on one of my patients for a while? His physical condition is stable now but I’m afraid he might be on the verge of something else” he said in a calm voice that seemed to get quieter with each word.

 

“And by that you mean-?”

 

“I’m afraid he’ll get post-trauma depression soon enough if we don’t something…” Oikawa sighed and quickly look up again, facing Keiji with a smile “And then I thought ‘who’s better with kids than mom-nurse Kei-chan?” no one for sure.” Oikawa made a peace sign and grinned at the younger man who sighed unamused.

 

“Would you please shut your big mouth, Oikawa-san?”

 

“Sorry ~ But you do have a gift, you know? You understand people and gain their trust easily as if you had known them your whole life... Look, about a month ago that kid was living a normal life and now he is lying in a bed with paraplegia; he’s got a good prospect though, but this is a life changing event for him…”

 

“...”

 

“I’ll leave the records here, okay? Can I count on you?”

 

“... Of course”

 

Oikawa smiled and waved before leaving the cafeteria. Keiji took the folder and opened it. 

 

Giving it a quick read he learnt it was a young man who lost the motor movement of his lower half due to a car accident. He was only twenty years old.

 

Keiji closed the folder and took it with him to the room that the boy was assigned to. He knocked the door a few times and entered the room.

 

“Good evening, my name is Akaashi Keiji, I’ll be assisting you today”

 

Sat on the bed, there was a young boy looking out the window. When Keiji entered he turned to face him and greet with a smile. Keiji thought just how young he looked due to the freckles on his cheeks. 

 

“Good evening, Akaashi-san” 

 

* * *

 

It was about two hours later that his phone rang, displaying two known characters on the screen. He answered after a short while

 

“Hello?”

 

“Akaashi, I’m on my way there, is it safe?” Kuroo joked.

 

“It is, it is… The doctor left a while ago and his parents are about to leave so you can come. I’m guessing you wouldn’t like them to find out about this.  You’ll have to go through the back door though”

 

“Ok, I’ll be there in five… Doesn’t it feel like we’re committing a crime or something?”  Kuroo added with an amused tone.

 

“Almost, Kuroo. Almost.”

 

He hanged up and went to Kenma’s room to inspect if the place was clear now.

 

“It looks like you had a good time with your relatives” he said while carefully sitting on the edge of the chair in front of the other man.

 

“I’m glad to be back, my aunt’s house was too crowded”

 

“It’s nice to have people who care about you enough to gather every once in awhile, did you thank them properly?”

 

“I did.”

 

“That’s good, I could tell your parents were pleased with your behaviour”

 

There was a short silence in which Kenma had raised his head and stared at some point in the wall “I’m 24, I can’t afford to make them worry about me anymore”

 

Keiji stared at Kenma in surprise, he didn’t expect to hear those words from the boy, it felt heart warming somehow. “I see…”

 

Keiji’s phone vibrated and he gave it a quick glance, it was a text from Kuroo. He hurried to open it and read it: ‘I forgot about the cake! Can I be absolutely shameless and ask you to get it when they deliver it. Pleeease, Akaashiiii’ 

 

Keiji couldn’t help but smile and sent a short reply.

 

“We’re the same age now, Keiji.”

 

Keiji looked up at Kenma, he was writing something in a notebook “We are. We should hangout more often now that we’re the same age.”

 

Kenma silently laughed and looked down again “He’s late, isn’t he?”

 

“I’m sure he’ll arrive soon”

 

“It’s not like him to be late”

 

Keiji reacted in concern, fighting the urge to tell him about Kuroo’s plan. “He’ll come. Trust him”

 

And, with those words, Keiji left the room. He received the cake and managed to find at least one candle to put on it, ten minutes later Kuroo arrived.

 

Once out of the room he hurried to the front entrance and waited a few minutes until the cake arrived, trying his best to make his actions as lowkey as possible. He left the box behind the main counter and called Kuroo to give him directions for the back entrance.

 

“Man, the train was crowded, luckily this guy doesn’t stand out too much” said Kuroo opening his coat to show a small black cat hiding inside one of the pockets.

 

“... I’m trusting that you didn’t asphyxiate him in that coat on your way here”

 

Kuroo lightly laughed and shook his head “Believe it or not he likes his sort of things. Have you ever given a box to a cat? They just love to snuggle in small spaces” 

 

“I see...”

 

“Plus, we’re just this close, right Koma?” Kuroo took the cat out of the pocket and brought it closer to his chest. The cat just closed his eyes and let the man stroke him.

 

“He looks like he’s given up on trying to shook you off him” Akaashi joked and stroked the cat’s head. “The cake’s here already, I’ll bring it so you can give it to him”

 

“What do you mean I? We’re both giving him the cake, you helped me choose it”

 

“But you bought it. Besides, wouldn’t it be weird if I was part of the celebration? I’m-”

 

“Kenma’s friend. That’s why you should.” Kuroo said in a honest tone “But I understand, you’re working right now after all, you’ve done more than enough yet I keep asking you for things”

 

“I’ll go.”

 

Keiji fetched the cake and lighted the candle on it while Kuroo holded it, Keiji took the cat with one hand and opened the door with the other.

 

“Kenma… Are you busy? You have a visit”

 

“Is that guy here already?”

 

Kuroo lightly kicked the door with his foot and entered the room “Well, ‘that guy’ not only is here but also bought you a whole cake so you should treat him better, right Akaashi?”

 

Keiji silently laughed at the older man’s reaction and entered the room while the two of them were talking, closing the door behind him.

 

“You’re here”

 

“Of course I am, do you really think I would miss your birthday?”

 

Kenma blinked a few times and looked away, too embarrassed to say yes. “What took you so long?”

 

“I guess that’s this little guy’s fault” Keiji added while revealing the cat on his arms.

 

“Nekoma?”

 

Keiji thought he had never seen Kenma as excited as that moment. He carefully put the cat down which walked towards Kenma and rubbed up against his legs.

 

“... How?” Kenma suddenly asked while petting the animal’s head and immediately stared at Kuroo. “What did you do?”

 

Kuroo couldn’t help but laugh at such serious question and softly shook his head “Oh no, this one’s not my idea… Your overly-kind nurse is the only one to blame here”

 

Both looks this time were directed to Keiji, who just smiled lightly “Kuroo said you were fond of Nekoma, right? I thought you would like him to visit once in awhile”

 

“Well, as much as I would love to keep on with this nice conversation, I’ve got a lighting candle right here and it’s not getting any bigger so how about dealing with this first?”

 

As the three of them celebrated Kenma’s birthday and Kuroo told a number of stories about the previous birthdays and how he hadn’t accepted one of his gifts in years the time went flying. Keiji couldn’t stay much time due to his duties, nevertheless he went back to the room when it was time for Kenma’s medicine. Keiji had never seen Kenma making such a happy expression as he did at that time, assuring Keiji that the decision of taking such risk had been worth it.

 

“Ok, here’s your last medicament for today” Keiji said while entering the room with two small cups, one with a pill and the other one with water.

 

Kenma took his pill and immediately turn back to brush the cat’s ears softly. “Do you like cats, Keiji?” he asked in a small voice.

 

Keiji crossed his arms over his chest and looked at him “I do like them, although their not quite fond of me to be honest… All my pets hated me as a kid” he replied honestly while taking the cups bag and placing one on top of the other.

 

“Is that so?...” Kenma answered as composed as always “I’m sure Nekoma will like you, he likes good people”

 

Keiji smiled and reached for a small package on his pocket “Well, since you’ve called me a good person the least I can do is give you this”

 

“For me?”

 

“I’m sorry it’s not a big thing, I just found out yesterday that it was your birthday” 

 

“Keiji… You didn’t have to get me anything at all” Kenma said, with a rather surprised expression on his face.

 

“I know… But I wanted to. I hope it’s okay for me to do it, otherwise I’ll be a little embarrassed”

 

“It is” the younger boy replied right away “I just… Thank you”

 

Keiji wrote the name of the medicamente and the amount on the planner hanging from the wall closer to the door and looked at Kenma “You’re welcome. I’m glad you accepted it” Keiji said with a small smile “I’ve officially surpassed Kuroo’ record on gifts” he joked and the taller man just rolled his eyes with a big grin on his face. “I need to go do shift handover, so Kuroo, just fifteen more minutes. I’ll be back then” and with those words Keiji left the room.

 

A few minutes passed before Keiji was able to register the end of the shift due to the high demand of personnel. He waited outside the administrative office for a few minutes before leaving. 

 

“Hey, some people sure have it easy… Being able to go home while the rest of us have to stay for another hour”

 

“Well, considering my shift starts an hour earlier than yours I think it’s quite fair”

 

“You’re so mean, Kei-chan” Oikawa whined jokingly “If you’re being like that it means you’re in a good mood, right?”

 

“Surprisingly enough you’re not the first person to tell me that today… It must be true then”

 

“Oh well, isn’t that nice? We don’t usually get to see you smile at all around here and today you’re full of happiness, it must be a miracle sent from the gods themselves” he laughed “And I’m sure it has something to do with the kid”

 

“You do know you have to stop calling him ‘the kid’ eventually, right?”

 

“But isn’t that a cute nickname for him? I’m all up for cute nicknames.”

 

“If you say so” Keiji sighed, giving up on trying to understand Oikawa’s mindset. “I talked to your patient”

 

The big grin on the other man’s face instantly changed to a more condescendant look and a smile that seemed to fade away at any second “You did?.... So, how did it go?”

 

“He’s… Deeply affected by it. But he’s strong. I was surprised by just how mature he was, and that makes me worry a little.... He’s still young so better keep an eye not only on him but also on who visits him. At this point even a small argument could disturb him, and I’m guessing the reason why he’s so mature has a direct relation to his social interactions“

 

“Akaashi-san, you’re good to go! Sorry for making you wait for so long.” an older nurse said while coming out of the office.

 

“Thank you, see you tomorrow” Keiji politely replied to the woman before facing the other man “I’ll be leaving now, Oikawa-san. If you need to discuss the subject any further please let me know, I’ll be happy to help”

 

Keiji left in a hurry, feeling a little guilty about not being able to reply properly to Oikawa’s question. He knocked Kenma’s door twice before entering the room and finding, to his astonishment both of them mindlessly holding hands while playing with the cat.

 

“I-im sorry to interrupt, but I’m leaving now so I’m afraid visiting hours are over for today. The receptionist is on shift change aswell so you can go through the main entrance now”

 

“Thank you, and sorry for causing you so much trouble” Kuroo said kindly “Ok Kenma, Koma and I are leaving so say goodbye to this little guy” Kuroo said while softly caressing Kenma’s hand with his thumb

 

“I’ll be going then. See you tomorrow Kenma, happy birthday again”

 

Before Kenma or Kuro could reply, Keiji left the room; as fast as he could and as confused about his behaviour as the rest of them. 

 

They were a couple, after all. He knew it from the beginning.

 

He knew it, yet…

 

It felt wrong.

 

_ ‘Just what am I doing?’ _


	3. Chapter 3

Keiji would find joy on small things during the day. One of the most recent ones was watching Kenma write on his notebook with the pen he had gifted him for his birthday about two weeks ago. It was a black ink pen with a red string hanging from the top that held a black cat figurine at the end of it.

 

He felt pleased that Kenma liked it enough to use it, and he sure seemed to be in a very good mood ever since he saw Nekoma again. In the end, Kenma was just like a little kid to his eyes, ‘ _ maybe Oikawa was right after all _ ’ he thought and immediately shook his head, amused by the idea.

 

Another new small thing that seemed to please Keiji those days was a newly acquired text friend he got along with Kuroo’s number. 

 

For the last week he had been messaging the other man, reasons going from answering questions about Kenma’s health to just random conversation topics that came out along the way. Before he knew it, he came to like such things.

 

Because they were alike is why it felt odd, contrary to his expectations, they had an awful amount of things in common.  _ Awful _ , he could use said word just because of his current situation. He wasn’t one to become friends with people in such a short time, it wasn’t like him at all.

 

What started as just casual text from Kuroo to check-up on Kenma and that Akaashi would reply in short answers during his break, in a short while, increased in number. Sometimes they would discuss simple interests like music and films, other times it would be more complex topics.

 

But not everything has been as nice as it sounded. During the first week of November, Kenma had started to have trouble identifying faces and recent event, even though he would always recover some of the memory after a short while; for Keiji it seemed like that said ‘short while’ began to extend as time passed. Unsure about giving it much thought, he just assumed it as part of the treatment. He knew this could happen once in awhile and just hoped for the symptoms to cease. But when the second week came, they became more persistent.

 

He entered Kenma’s room and greeted him with a kind smile on his face.

 

“H-hi’ he replied without turning away from his notebook.

 

Akaashi stopped in the act. He knew that trembling voice, and it meant nothing good. “Kenma, how are you feeling today?”

 

Kenma didn’t reply. 

 

“Are you feeling well? Is there anything bothering you?” Keiji walked closer to the desk.

 

“I’m fine.” Kenma replied right away and pulled back when Keiji came closer.

 

“It couldn’t be…” He whispered to himself, taking a moment to analyze the situation and then proceeded “That’s good to hear.”

 

“Kenma, by any chance… Do you happen to know who I am?” Keiji managed to ask in the most casual way possible in order not to disturb him, feeling the fear build up from his stomach and a lump in his throat. 

 

Kenma gave no answer. He seemed too focused on his writing. 

 

“Kenma” he repeated in a slightly louder tone which made Kenma stop in the moment.

 

“A nurse” he replied in a slightly annoyed tone. The same tone he would give to people he didn’t know or trust.

 

“I see” Keiji felt odd, like he wasn’t familiar to this reality, even though he knew this could happen eventually. “I’ll be in charge of you from now on, I hope we can get along” Kenma had been okay for almost a month now, the ‘bad days’ had decreased since then, so he wasn’t expecting that kind of regression on his treatment so suddenly. “I will leave your medicine in the drawer next to the bed, make you to take it in no less than five minutes, okay?” 

 

And the answer was just silence.

 

“I’ll come again in fifteen minutes to check on you” with those words Keiji left the room.

 

He wasn’t sure why, but the moment he left the room he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, ‘ _ why now?’ _ was the only thing on his head at that point.

 

Keiji hurried outside and took his phone out of his pocket, he looked for Kuroo’s name without thinking and sent a message.

 

‘Are you coming here today?’

 

He looked at the screen right after sending it, it was a rather impolite behaviour for him to text Kuroo in such a casual but he didn’t want to deal with that at the moment.

 

The reply came after a short while

 

‘Woa, so unexpected to receive a text from Akaashi himself, lucky! Yeah, I’m going after work. Did something happen?’

 

‘Not really. I just wanted to make sure.’

 

Somehow Keiji felt slightly relieved, he knew if this was a common thing then Kenma could be back to normal in a while, but if it wasn’t then he would be under obligation to ask for exams that would most likely reveal the contrary. He needed to be prepared to tell Kenma’s parents and Kuroo about this situation.

 

‘I’ll see you in a few hours then. Call me if anything happens, okay?’

 

Surprised by his answer, Keiji stared at the screen for a few seconds. Apparently, Kuroo was not convinced by it.

 

‘Okay.’

 

Keiji went back into Kenma’s room four times after that, to make sure Kenma had taken his medicine and check his vital signs as always during the day. He asked him a few questions in between his visits, in which Kenma replied to barely half of them and with very vague answers.

 

He knew Kenma was not sure of where he was exactly; even though he was aware it was some sort of hospital or nursing home, most likely because of his long experience with them in the past. He knew Kenma ignored how long has he been there and was fairly confused about the amount of medicaments he was taking. In conclusion, it seemed that his short-term memory was being affected.

 

‘A friend of yours called recently informing us that he will come to visit you today, he said his name is Kuroo Tetsurou” Keiji said the last time he went into the room, and it was the only time he could catch Kenma’s attention.

 

“He’s coming?” Kenma asked in a quiet tone ”At what time?”

 

Keiji looked at the younger boy, who was facing towards his console but had stopped the game on it, “He said he will be here at 4pm”

 

Kenma remained aloof when in presence of any nurse or medic that visited him, refusing to say anything if it wasn’t strictly necessary. Keiji knew there was nothing to be done but to give him the space he needed if his behaviour wasn’t turning aggressive.

 

“Excuse me, could you tell me where Dr. Oikawa is?” Keiji asked the young woman in the reception.

 

She looked up something on her computer and replied after a short while “He should be examining a patient in E203, but he’s-”

 

Before the woman could finish Keiji thanked her and went to said room on the other side of the Center as fast as he could. He waited outside the room for a few minutes until he finally came out “Oikawa-san”

 

“Kei-chan! What a surprise, are you on your break? I’m so jealous ~ ”

 

“I’m not actually, so I’ll make this quick.”

 

“What is it? You’re scaring me with that serious tone”

 

“What time does your shift end today?”

 

“At five, why?”

 

“Would you do me a favor? Could you… Perform Kenma’s examinations today? His head doctor is not on duty this week and-”

 

“Wait, wait. Did something happen to the kid? Are you completely sure it’s needed?”

 

“He’s supposed to have them taken next week... He’s starting to loose his short-term memory again, this has happened before but there’s something different about it now, the progression of it is becoming oddly faster; I can’t describe how but…” Keiji sighed, there was no way he could have expressed in which way Kenma’s behaviour was different. He had been spending most of his time with Kenma for almost two months now, and there were things,  _ patterns _ that were completely off-putting this time. “... But I’m afraid this could be something serious”

 

“Okay.” Oikawa simply replied “I’ll go check on him first thing after my shift’s over and I’ll perform the examination if necessary. Don’t worry.”

 

Keiji sighed and looked down “Thank you”

 

“Hey” Oikawa called with a kind smile and put his left hand on Keiji’s head “I know it’s hard to have faith but we’re entitled to bear with this ourselves until we know for sure what’s going on” he spoke softly while disheveling his hair  “Calm down, it’s going to be okay”

 

Keiji just nodded lightly, unable to raise his head and face the other man. Oikawa patted him on the shoulder a few times and left.

  
  


At  3:49pm Kuroo crossed the entrance door and greeted the two receptionist with a smile, he signed the visitor’s book and made his way to Kenma’s room, looking for Keiji, who had been filling up some forms in the main counter and stopped right at the moment he saw the other man in the room. 

 

“I made it here with…” he checked his phone “...  Ten minutes to spare” Kuroo said in a cheerful voice “I’m getting better at speed-walking from the station, aren’t I?” he joked and walked closer to the counter.

 

“You definitely are” Keiji said with a soft smile that looked rather odd to Kuroo “I’m glad you made it here safely from the station”

 

“Hey... Did something happen? You’re making the ‘official-nurse’ face again… Is it a bad day?”

Kuroo asked, leaning forward while resting both arms over the stand.

 

Keiji looked up and found a concerned yet not surprised Kuroo looking back at him ”We… Don’t know yet” Keiji said in a calm voice “You know how he’s been having long-term temporal memory lost for the past two weeks.” Keiji paused to find the best way to explain it without having to worry the other man too much “He seems to have some short-term memory lost today, he’s behaving normal though, which is always a good sign”

 

“I see” Kuroo replied in an oddly quiet voice

 

“But go ahead, he was excited to see you. Remember to be very cautious when talking to him”

 

“I will, thank you. ”He knocked a few times and opened the door “Kenma, I’m here” he greeted with his always mischievous smile. Kenma looked up and gestured to make what appeared to be a smile; Kuroo looked back at Keiji, giving him a sign of approval before going in and closing the door behind him. 

 

His break was about to start, but he didn’t feel like taking it, he preferred to keep his mind busy. 

 

An hour went by before Keiji had seen a familiar face walking through the hallway, it was Oikawa. “I finally found you, I thought you were on your break”

 

“Not quite” Keiji responded rather easily “There were some forms unfinished so I got distracted filling them up, I guess”

 

Oikawa walked toward Keiji, gesturing to make the other man come closer to him. “Is it okay to go in now? I saw the records and they were rather positive on the treatment respecting to his physical health so I’m just going to check his cognitive memory to see if there’s any possible damage” 

 

Keiji nodded. He had been checking on Kenma everyday for a while now so he figured he was going to say something like that. 

 

“I’m going in now, I’ll be out in a twenty minutes and we’ll talk about the exams, okay?” Oikawa walked towards the room but was stopped by a slightly louder voice.

 

“Oikawa-san!”

 

“Yes?”

 

“... Thank you”

 

Oikawa smiled and made a peace sign with his right hand “‘ No problem, Kei-chan. Buy me ramen next time and we’ll be even~” he joked and knocked the door. Keiji smiled aswell, he needed to remember to thank Oikawa properly in the future.

 

“Sorry for the intrusion, I’m Oikawa Tooru, chief doctor of Haruyama Center’s department of Neurology, I will be doing the regular check-up today” It surprised Keiji so listen to such a formal introduction from him but he was somehow glad he did 

 

Keiji went in just behind the other man and looked at both Kuroo and Kenma, sitting on the bed, Kenma playing on his console as always, he didn’t even bothered looking up or replying.

 

“Good evening, thanks for taking care of this one” Kuroo replied, softly messing up Kenma’s hair.

 

“It looks like he isn’t very fond of our company, is he, Kei-chan?” Oikawa turned to face Keiji and smirk at his words. “We’re sorry to interrupt but you see, I’m going to have to annoy you with my presence for a little bit longer...” Oikawa took the planner with Kenma’s records and read his full name “Kozume Kenma-chan”

 

Keiji shooked his head, acknowledging now what was Oikawa’s real character and treat towards his patients “I’m sorry, it’s almost five,so I’m afraid you’ll have to put up with us for a little longer for your examinations, Kenma. Kuroo…-san can come back in an hour” Keiji spoke in a soft voice, and opened the door.

 

Kuroo gave Oikawa a look and then looked back at Keiji, who just gestured discreetly for him to leave the room “Okay. See you later, Kenma”

 

Both of them left the room, Keiji closing the door behind them. “So, how did it go?” Keiji asked while walking towards the main hall, followed by the other man.

 

“He’s… Definitely acting weird, I didn’t want to point that out in front of him, but there’s something odd… He isn’t acting like himself” Kuroo agreed, walking in a slower pace.

 

“I see” Keiji swallowed and quickly replied “I talked to Dr. Oikawa about it, he’s going to be checking his condition in order to determine the reason for it”

 

“He doesn’t remember you” Kuroo said and Keiji stopped in the act, he wasn’t expecting Kuroo to find out about it that soon. 

 

“That is… Likely to happen, his memory is unstable now, after all” Keiji turned to face Kuroo, he was encountered with just sadness and concern.

 

“He barely knows where he is now and... It’s like all his progress just-”

 

Keiji put one hand over the man’s shoulder in order for him to stop, he knew there was no way he could hide things from someone as close as Kenma as Kuroo was. “Kuroo, let’s talk in private”

 

Keiji guided him to one of the empty offices next to the lobby and closed the door behind him. Kuroo was facing the window on the other side of the room, completely lost in thought.

 

“Listen, I know it was a very drastic change from what his crisis used to be, but we still don’t know for sure if it represents something dreadful or is a just rare episode, now he’s-”

 

“Akaashi. Please, don’t lie to me.” Kuroo said in a sharp voice “You can give me the medical speech all you want but I’m not buying any of it. This guy had improved so much since he came here”

 

“Kuroo… I need you to listen to thi-”

 

“He’s like a different person! Don’t tell me this is like the other times because-!”

 

“Kuroo” Keiji interrupted suddenly “I know, I know all of that. But it would be both unprofessional and insensitive of me, of  _ us  _ to give a baseless medical diagnostic. We can’t say for sure what it is or isn’t going to happen until we have exams to prove it.”

 

“So you’re not going to do anything, is that what you’re saying?/”

 

“There’s nothing we can do for now, I am really sorry”

 

“Yeah? You don’t look like you’re sorry  at all” With those words Kuroo left the room, leaving nothing but silence behind.

 

‘ _ There is nothing I can do now’  _ Keiji repeated to himself, suddenly questioning his own actions  _ ‘Is there really nothing I can do?’  _

Feeling a strong pain on his chest, he felt the shame weighing on him heavier than ever. It was not the first time he had to deal with this situation but it was the first time he had felt that involved with the case.

 

Deciding not to disturb Kuroo any longer he proceeded to visit his two other patients, deciding to come back when Oikawa was done

 

Fourty minutes went by in which Oikawa left the room one moment, just to confirm he was going to perform the examinations.

 

And there was nothing else to be done.

 

Keiji went one last time to Kenma’s room to inform Kuroo that visiting hours were over and left; taking his time to change his clothes and pick up his belongings from the nurses’ lockers.

 

He walked down the road with his head down and his hands buried into his pockets, it was a cold night and the coat he was wearing felt too thin all of the sudden. 

 

He pulled his scarf upwards and  stepped up his pace. Or at least that’s what he pretended before a hand grabbed his forearm, cutting off his steps.

 

“Akaashi!” A low voice reached his ears, and, as he looked up, he realized who was the person who had stopped him “I’ve been calling you for a while now, why didn’t you stop?”

 

Keiji blinked a few times and then turned back to the direction he was headed to “Sorry… I wasn’t paying attention” he simply responded and started walking again, being followed by the same steps once more

 

“I didn’t realize when you left, you look really different with your regular clothes” Kuroo added, white smoke gently coming out of his mouth as he spoke “Are you going to the station now?”

 

“Yes”

 

“I was waiting for you, you know...” Keiji didn’t reply “I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier… I was freaking out and…” 

“I know.” Keiji interrupted “I know. You were worried about Kenma, I won’t take it personal so please do not worry about such things. It’s also my job to understand and communicate with my patient’s family and friends.”

 

Kuroo stared at the other man, mesmerized while walking a few steps behind him. “You’re… Really incredible, Akaashi”

 

Confused, Keiji turned to face Kuroo, who slowly catches up to his pace. “As I said, it’s my job to-”

 

“It’s not your job to stand people blaming you for things that are not your fault… I’m really sorry”

 

Keiji didn’t reply, neither when they were walking towards the station, nor when they both got on the same empty train and sat side by side. Kuroo looked at Keiji like he was a total mystery to him, because in a certain way, he was. 

 

He felt nothing but admiration for people like him, strong and calm, able to control their emotions like it was nothing; it sounded like something impossible to do for Kuroo, so he felt conflicted.

 

Keiji raised his head and looked at the taller man “You shouldn’t worry about this it, I do understand...” 

 

“... I know” Kuroo agreed, getting a surprised look from Keiji in return “I’m aware you do, you always do after all.” Kuroo smiled as a natural response to tiredness, he felt suddenly way too calm for a train ride.

 

Keiji looked aside and fixed his scarf, closing his eyes for a few seconds, being also influenced by the same tiredness that resulted from the end of a work day. “I failed, you know… That’s why I didn’t notice earlier...”

 

“Oikawa-san told me you asked him to take the examinations today, that it was meant to be done by next week by his head doctor who is on holidays” Kuroo spoke, looking at the dim lights placed on the corners of the wagon. “I thought-... I thought you were giving up on Kenma. When you told me there was nothing to be done, I-”

 

“Kuroo, stop.” Keiji said abruptly “Don’t do this. ” What happened is that it hurted. It hurted to listen to him have such expectations on him, expectations he couln’t live up to “You don’t want to hear it and I don’t want to lie to you.”

 

The sound of the railways being pushed down by the train as it stopped was the only left to hear for a few seconds. These words astonished Kuroo, but it wasn’t anything new to him, on the contrary, it felt like the truth he was trying to reject for so long just crushed him.

 

The train doors closed and it slowly began to move again.

 

“He’s never going to get better, is he?”

 

Keiji closed his eyes and took a deep breath “The treatment can keep him away from worsening if there’s no major complications, but…” Keiji stopped to look at the other man, Kuroo was looking down, holding up tears, his hands shivering. 

 

“But…” Kuroo repeated in a whisper, no matter what, he wanted to hear the truth.

 

Keiji looked around and moved calmly as held Kuroo’s hand with a strong but gentle grip. Kuroo didn’t move away nor he responded to the other man’s actions.

 

“... But as things are right now there’s no cure for him.” Keiji finally said, “he can control it with the treatment, but he won’t be able to recover from this” he felt then Kuroo’s grip getting stronger. 

 

The train began to slow down again.

 

* * *

 

 

Next time he woke up he didn’t know his surroundings, there were beige walls and black furniture all around, some pictures on the walls and the entrance’s light on.

Then, next to him, he noticed the black-haired man lying uncomfortably on the couch, silently sleeping against the arm of the couch. A few meters away, a black cat was playing with the end of the curtains.

 

He realized just then he was at Kuroo’s apartment.


End file.
